@thecut and @nymag. writing a book about bein' horny. if you have a horny story to tell, a horny question to ask, or want to take a survey, click below
Joined on 11 June, 2008
https://www.thehornycensus.com/
it is incredibly rude for this to wind up in my timeline rn, in a goddamn dry ass panny of all times!! 🥵🥵🥵
bought enough cookies from troop 6000 that more than one friend said “that’s too many cookies,” so i have put in for the cause today!
i swear to you i will buy 800 boxes of thin mints if someone hooks me up with a girl scout plug.
woke up wistfully thinkin' bout the strip club, and how in Biden's America, I might get back to her soon.
asked @EmiliaPetrarca for help making a Meme, aka the millienial equivalent of those “help i’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commericals.
J’Lo’s LE’S GET LOUD belt interlude during this land is your land bringing me to sudden and intense tears was…. unexpected?
Quoted @ArmasUpdates
A life-sized cardboard cutout of Ana de Armas from inside Ben Affleck’s residence was seen being thrown out into a trash can. (January 18, 2021)
this can live rent free in my head. it doesn’t have to split utilities. if it uses the last of the toilet paper it never has to restock. It doesn’t have to chip in for that 12-pack of craft beer Ethan bought for everyone to share.
Quoted @haleymlotek
Snowsuits, snow fights, snow cocktails, snow sex, snow horror movies, snow memories — six snow angels @tmibugbee @AllisonPDavis @smathewss @mhllndrivethru @jbwashing & Marian Bull on the current season:
I didn’t even consider snow sex until this assignment from @haleymlotek, but now, do your best blizzards.
basically just trying to stay up until it’s a reasonable time to go to bed.
So you mean to tell me Lupin is not about werewolves?
Gee would love to profile a tall white dude who might be a total snooze or could be a big ol freak....not thinking of anyone in particular or anything
kim scat-trall.
had a really intense dream about trying to chose between waffle crisp and honeycombs that’s still haunting me hours after waking up
Quoted @Eater
Viennetta, the fanciest dessert of the ’90s, will return to America's freezer aisles this year
as a child, my fantasies of adulthood included owning my own jacuzz, and feeding slivers of viennetta to my lover (Devon Sawa but only from Now and Then). Welcome back old friend, welcome back.
I’m here on this earth for two things: writin’ and fuckin’, and well…we’re in a panny so I’m fresh out of fuckin’
But also when will someone launch a sexy matchmaking substack??
Finally engaged with "substack culture" and said probably too much in @weareyourfek’s Fostertalk <3
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